Scary times...waiting for 60 days to pass

Once we came home from the hospital, it all started to sink in. People would phone and say “how is your son doing?” or “is your son keeping you up at night?” or “how are you coping with parenthood?” Each time someone asked those questions, it felt so amazingly good.   I thought I would burst with pride. It’s really hard to explain the feelings of euphoria that go with being a new parent!

 

Our little one was very well-routined after a month in hospital and fed every 4 hours and slept the rest of the time. It was all amazingly easy! (The hard part was only to come months later when the teething began!)

 

The only darkness in this otherwise delightful time was knowing that the biological parents had 60 days in which to change their minds. Although the thought did not consume us, I have to admit that it crossed our minds a few times. Those times were really, really challenging. The thought of losing him after all the years of waiting and the month of terror in the hospital was just too much to swallow! Eventually, I called the social worker to talk about my fears. She said she would chat to their social worker and see if she could get any info. She called back a while later and said “the biological family would like to meet with the 3 of you”. 

 

I immediately assumed the worst. I burst into tears and asked her if they wanted him back. She assured me that was not what the meeting was about. They had only ever seen him as a very sick, delicate little thing full of tubes and machines. They had only ever seen us in a state of shock and very tearful. They wanted to see us in a normal, happy environment so that they could get a picture of how his future would be. I didn’t believe her. I was convinced they wanted to take my child away. I was stuck. The social worker agreed to go along with us to “mediate” and help control what could become a very emotional gathering. We all arrived at a coffee shop and sat down. You could cut the tension in the air with a knife. We made polite conversation and all stayed on edge. I guess, they were trying their best to come to terms with giving up a child and we were trying to come to terms with taking a child from people who were clearly good, loving, warm people.

 

It was not pleasant for me and I know it was hard for them. Alex slept through most of it though! I eventually blurted out my fears and they were horrified! They assured us that they were 100% happy with their decision. They were certain we were the right parents to raise this baby and they had absolutely no intention of changing their minds. I felt better. I did not feel 100% safe but I felt better.

 

We left, promising to keep in touch with updates on Alex’s progress. I counted the days down……….60 days was up on 24 Dec. They did not change their minds. On Christmas Day 2004, Alex officially became ours. Need I say more about Christmas gifts? That one can never, ever be topped!