Back to the IVF. It was horrid....and it didn't work. I was really devastated this time. All the money, all the pain, all the effort, all the expectations…..it all amounted to nothing. I felt sick. I got flu-like symptoms with high temperatures and aching joints. Then I got worse and worse with terrible cramps. Eventually I went back to the fertility specialist and he admitted me to hospital straight away. My temperature was over 40 and my heart rate was sky-high. He did a thorough examination and a whole lot of tests. I spent 4 days in hospital being tested for various things. It turned out to be a terrible case of gastro and not related to the IVF at all. But I was exhausted and drained and could not face any more doctors, medicines or treatments. I had also been on a very strict “fertility” diet for the last few months. The dietician had banned me from all meat, wheat, sugar, gluten, processed food and lots more. I was seeing an acupuncturist twice per week and a reflexologist once per week. My entire life was consumed with falling pregnant. I was spending a fortune in money and in emotional energy.
I started to tell a few people that we were battling to fall pregnant and that we'd had some treatments. I was still not sharing all the details but I needed some sort of outlet so I chose the few people I knew who did not have perfect, new babies in their lives. I told my mom and my friend A, who has a much older son.
By this time, I had made a new friend. My new friend, N had an adopted son. I told her about my difficulties. She brought up the topic of adoption.
My husband & I had actually discussed adoption a year or so earlier and when we looked into it, briefly, we were disappointed. There seemed to be very little information available on the internet about adoption in South Africa. There was lots of information about international adoptions. We were a bit naive and assumed that adopting within our own race was firstly possible and secondly, the obvious choice to make. We were turned away at every enquiry. We were told that in South Africa, there are no white babies available for adoption. Some agencies told us that there was a 10 year waiting list while others told us that their waiting list was so long that they were not accepting any more applications. We gave up and continued with fertility treatments.
I started to tell a few people that we were battling to fall pregnant and that we'd had some treatments. I was still not sharing all the details but I needed some sort of outlet so I chose the few people I knew who did not have perfect, new babies in their lives. I told my mom and my friend A, who has a much older son.
By this time, I had made a new friend. My new friend, N had an adopted son. I told her about my difficulties. She brought up the topic of adoption.
My husband & I had actually discussed adoption a year or so earlier and when we looked into it, briefly, we were disappointed. There seemed to be very little information available on the internet about adoption in South Africa. There was lots of information about international adoptions. We were a bit naive and assumed that adopting within our own race was firstly possible and secondly, the obvious choice to make. We were turned away at every enquiry. We were told that in South Africa, there are no white babies available for adoption. Some agencies told us that there was a 10 year waiting list while others told us that their waiting list was so long that they were not accepting any more applications. We gave up and continued with fertility treatments.
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