Completing the forms and making a portfolio

 

The forms that we took home were very comprehensive.  There were many different sections and all aspects of our lives were covered.  Medical, financial, emotional, sexual, family, education, religion and more.  There are no right or wrong answers and the agency was not looking to judge us.  They just wanted to be sure that they understood us and that they matched us up with the correct baby.  In fact the section of the form dealing with the child that we wanted was really comprehensive.  Down to our preference of hair colour, eye colour, family medical history etc.  The forms asked us whether we would be prepared to accept a baby with an illness (and it listed pages of illnesses), a baby from an addict mother, a baby as a result of rape, a baby as a result of incest, an HIV positive baby etc. 

Again, none of these questions were aimed at making judgments, only at making a correct match.  On the other side, when biological mums arrive to discuss giving up their babies for adoption, they are asked what type of family they envisage raising their child.  For some of these women, the most important thing is that the child is raised in a religious family, a sporty family, a very close family, a rich family etc.  They each have their own idea of what they want and the social workers attempt to fulfill this wish.

Once all the application forms were completed and we’d had copies of our ID books done, it was time to start on the portfolio.  This is a book about us.  We bought a scrapbook and we each wrote a letter to a biological mom.  We pasted in photos of ourselves, our pets, our families, our friends and our home.  We wrote little pieces about ourselves, our lives, our likes, our interests etc.  We enclosed some letters from friends wishing us well and telling what great parents we would be.

Our portfolio was beautiful.  It was therapeutic too.  I recommend that all families do a portfolio at some time in their lives - even if they are not planning to adopt.  We had such fun reflecting on ourselves and our lives and the end result is a lovely book about us that I still look back on today and add to so that my son can have it one day.